"now i’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking."
This is how I imagine the scene would look like the next time I see you again - awkward, full of tension, very uncomfortable. Which probably explains why I don’t want to see you ever again. I don’t want to be in that place, I don’t want to be the girl getting sad looks from people we both know, the girl getting the half-hearted smiles from everyone, the girl who got dumped.
At least that’s how I used to feel. It’s different now. I can finally say I’ve moved on. Some might think it’s too soon (others might say it’s about time) for me to be saying this. But I truly feel I have. My heart doesn’t hurt when I see you in my dreams; I don’t burst into tears when I see your photo and remember how things used to be. I don’t even get mad anymore when someone tells me you’re interested in another girl, actually, maybe girls; and my eyes don’t turn into waterfalls when I hear an Adele song. It’s liberating. Feeling this way. Finding out one day that you no longer have a hold on me, or my life. It feels good.
No, actually, it feels great.
So when the time comes that we’re in the same room with mutual friends. I won’t be the silly girl you dumped. I’ll be the happy, content, and successful girl you shouldn’t have let go of. Thank you for making me realize that I deserve more.
Thanks for your patience! Here’s the video that’ll make me up to date in my weeks. This song was introduced to me by my brother, who is also the very talented guitarist who played for me in this video. He’s camera-shy that’s why he only said Hi then went out of the frame. Anyway, I chose this song because it made me realise how much potential I have to excel in life. And that I’ve just been waiting for that “little push” to get me started.
It may have taken me a while but I’m on my way. I’m restructuring my life. Weeding out the people who have negative effects on my self-esteem and keeping the real friends. I’m also giving myself a chance to prove myself to those who have doubted me and those who hurt me. Just last night I made a decision that could possibly change my life - if all goes well. I’m not ready yet to tell everyone what that is but just keep your fingers crossed for me. Please? :)
So back to the song. This song empowered me to believe that I have everything I need to move on to a better and brighter future. It may sound cheesy but it’s the truth. I am capable to steer my life in the direction I want it to go to. No more excuses. Also, it made me feel that even if I sometimes make mistakes, everything’s gonna be okay. So if you’re feeling like you don’t have it in you to succeed, whether it’s at school, or work, or even in love, give yourself a chance to prove you wrong. It would also help to listen to advice from your friends & family. Sometimes we might think we know ourselves well but it always helps to see things from an objective point of view. Cheer up! You can do it! :D Like Maria Mena said, all this time you have had it in you..just sometimes need a push. Here’s a little push from me to you. You are strong, and the world is in your hands.
Sooo…I know I’m a week late, I apologise for that.However, I am working on a collaboration with a very talented guitarist, that’s why I’m late. We’re still working on a few issues with the song and trying to make it perfect! Oh and as a bonus, this is my very first actual video of me singing! haha. (hope you like it!)
Anyway, I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. There’s a lot going on right now with my new job, and my graduation approaching, and a lot of other personal stuff. It’s overwhelming. Sometimes I lay in bed and just wish I could go back to being 10 years old with nothing to worry about. In life, there are things that might tear our confidence to shreds. It might be a mistake we did in our job, or it could be a person who constantly tries to bring you down. I know I’ve already said that words are sometimes more hurtful than sticks and stones, it’s because I believe that the wounds that hurtful words create needs longer time to heal. Also, no matter how great your support system is, if you don’t help yourself, then it’ll all be for naught.
I realised this today when I was speaking with a very close girlfriend. I do have the greatest friends & family anyone can possibly ask for, but if I don’t put my foot down and help myself then I’ll be forever afraid. If you’re being bullied and people are making you feel like you’re worthless, prove them wrong! Make them eat all the scarring words they uttered and triumph over them. I know it’s easier said than done..heck, I’m still trying to do it. Remember, you are loved. And you are perfect just the way you are. No one has the right to tell you otherwise. It’s your life, not theirs.
And I’ll remember my words too. It’s my life and I’m taking a stand.
I was meaning to upload a different song for this week, but a good friend of mine has been requesting me to cover this song for quite some time now. So this is for you, Chi chi! :D
I’m not the biggest Miley Cyrus fan but I do like some of her songs (don’t hate on me). I also love her legs, her figure, and her hair!! If only I could be as sexy as her, that would be a dream come true!..Anyway, back to the song….I think this song isn’t as popular as her fast-paced songs but I like it anyway. It actually represents how I feel about someone in my life right now. The truth is, I’ve let go of a lot of dreams for that person. Because when I had to choose between my dreams and him, I chose him without question. I’m not sure if he knows it, but I did.
Right now, my only wish is to have him beside me again - the way it used to be…I know I’m calling it a wish for a reason, and that’s because it’s never gonna happen. I’ve accepted that fact. But hey, a girl can dream, right?
I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper.”
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about my experiences on bullying. You see, bullying isn’t just about someone being hurt physically, it’s about someone being hurt emotionally. Whether it’s being made to feel humiliated, useless, or insignificant. At least that’s my understanding of it. I know most people will have experienced some form of bullying in their life, I know I have. But I rose above it. I took the high road each and every single time, and you know what? I can honestly say that I live a much happier and satisfying life than the people who have hurt me in the past.
I chose this song, not because I’m a Demi Lovato fan, but because of its message. You know the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? Well, sometimes words hurt us more. But always remember that they cannot control you, or your life. You are the choices you make. You have the power to change your life. All you need is the trust and confidence in yourself that you will be able to do it. Who cares about the people trying to bring you down? Don’t mind them. As long as you know you are on the right path, and you’re doing the right thing, then that’s all that matters.
Remember, don’t let anyone take the twinkle from your eyes, and the strength in your dreams. You are you, and what you are is strong and beautiful.
"All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you’ll miss..
I never planned on you changing your mind.”
I’m brushing up on my Taylor Swift songs in preparation for her concert here on the 16th. That, and I just love how I can fully relate to each and every one of her songs. It’s crazy! Today, I have Last Kiss on repeat. This song perfectly describes how I feel right now.
I remember a lot of things I wish I didn’t. Mostly because I don’t want to feel sad anymore. But I suppose there’s no happiness without sadness, so I’ll take this sorrow and hope that one day I’ll be able to truly be happy again. I keep telling myself I should stop hoping. Some days I think, and believe, that I’ve stopped. But then days like today come and I realize I’ve just been fooling myself. I still hope.
Lately, I’ve been contemplating what if I died tomorrow? Would I have no regrets? What effect would that have on my family? my friends? I wonder if they’d miss me. This is one of the reasons I am trying so hard to be honest with the people that matter in my life. We never know when our time will be up and it’s best to be prepared. I want the people who matter know how much they mean to me before it’s too late.
A good friend of mine introduced this song to me. He’s a superb guitar player and we sometimes jam. Actually we have an acoustic band! Him, me, my older brother, and another good friend. They’re all super awesome guitar players, and I’m just the singer. haha. But it’s all good fun. We get together every once in a while and jam, maybe take a video or two. Going back to the song, I especially like the line “funny when you’re dead how people start listening”. It just opened my eyes to the fact that maybe we’re too preoccupied thinking of ourselves that we tend to forget to listen to others. And so that is what I learned this week: Listen.
A friend of mine requested this song. Sorry, it took me a while to get it done! But here it is. This is a cover of Lea Michele’s version since I couldn’t find a decent instrumental of the original by Christina Perri. Nevertheless, both versions are great! And I love both Lea Michele and Christina Perri. They’re two very different artists and are both extremely talented.
Moving on, I first heard this song in Dancing with the Stars (I think?). I instantly fell for it, and fell for Christina Perri’s wonderfully unique voice. Since then I’ve been a fan of CP, and I understand that she’s gaining interest now that she had a song as part of Breaking Dawn’s official soundtrack - A Thousand Years (lovely song btw). Watch out for Christina Perri, she’s a rising star!
That’s my blurb for this week. Check back in next week for another song :D
Valentine’s Day is a week away and it’s making me sad. This’ll be the first time in 4 years that I’ll be alone on Valentine’s day. Quite honestly, I’m dreading it. I’ve gone and organised a date with one of my closest girl friends but our plans got cancelled. So I’m trying to figure out a way for me not to be alone that day. Sadly, no solutions come to mind just yet.
Anyway, the title says it all. I miss you. I wish you were here.
It’s been nearly 2 months. For some weird reason, when I hear this song I can hear you singing it to me. I understand why you did what you did. I believe I’m at the point where I can now, genuinely, wish you happiness. I only want you to be happy, and if that means I can’t be with you, then I can accept that.
I’m trying to understand how this could happen. I have so many theories but none of them make sense. haha! I guess for now I should just completely let go. If we were meant to be, we’d find a way back to each other right?
I’ve always believed that we, as people, don’t stop loving a person. Once we love someone, we’ll always love that someone. The intensity of our love may increase or decrease in time but we’ll always love that someone, whether that person is a friend, a family member, a boyfriend/girlfriend. So I believe I’ll never truly be able to move on, because I know that I’ll always love him, even though he did break my heart, I still love him. Always and Forever.
Remember that break-up I mentioned? It happened in December. And because I’ve been bumming all month that’s all I can think of. So I thought this song was perfect for me, considering my circumstances.
I admit, there are some things I would have done differently if I could turn back the clock. But there are no do-overs in life, we get one shot, nothing more. Personally, I know I need to learn not to regret my actions. I need to learn to think before I act so I don’t get stuck with regretting them.
In the meantime, I will let myself wallow in this sorrow for a bit more and reminisce the glorious memories. I need time to heal right?
This song just hits anyone. I loved it when I first heard it, and I love it even more now that I can fully relate to it.
I was in a 4-year relationship but that ended late last year. I wouldn’t call it a bad break-up but it’s still sad. I sang this song because I needed to give myself the assurance that I will be okay; that I will be able to find someone like him, maybe even better; that I someday I’ll be able to wish him happiness.
I know I won’t be able to fully move on just yet, but it’s nice to know that there’s something (or someone?) great waiting for me.
I know I’m 2 months behind on my weekly songs, but I promise I’ll fully catch up by today! I’ve got lots of songs just waiting to be uploaded and I only found enough free time today to sit down and do this.
My first song for the year is The Script’s Live Like We’re Dying. I chose this song because I believe that this year I will do what the title says. I will live my life as if this was the last year I have. I will do what I want, say what I want, experience what I want. I’m only 21 once and I have to make the most of it. Most of all, I will tell the people I love that I love them. No more taking them for granted, or feeling shy to say those three words. I shall treasure and cherish them more, and make sure that they feel my love for them.